Pissy IM's

This conversation today, between me and Mark, is exactly why people can piss me off. Mark and I have known each other for almost four years. He works at the hospital here at the University and lives in a nice house with always-changing roommates and a never-changing bitch named Susie. We met in the summer following my first year and stayed in contact during my college years. However, we've drifted apart lately since I've realized that if you don't know me by now, you'll never know me (this conversation explains what I mean). Anyway, I'm supposed to receive my work-permit at Mark's address, which provides us a reason to engage in brief but frequent exchanges.

Me: Did you check mail today?
Mark11VA: nope not today but did yesterday
Mark11VA: I am off today
Mark11VA: will check either later or in the am
Me: oh, ok
Me: thanks
Me: i am still dizzy from last night
Me: u don't think I am a slut do you?
Mark11VA: huh
Mark11VA: what happened
Mark11VA: did you meet someone
Me: went to a gay party
Me: no
Mark11VA: oh
Mark11VA: and?
Me: but a bunch of boys here think i am slutty
Mark11VA: hmm
Me: nothing, really, just drank
Mark11VA: oh ok
Me: flirted with the ex
Mark11VA: ah ok
Me: i hate this shit
Me: why am i even here
Mark11VA: i do not know
Mark11VA: but it happens everywhere
Me: right
Mark11VA: you know it does
Me: but it happens to me..all the time
Mark11VA: well you want me to be honest
Mark11VA: with you
Mark11VA: you do sometimes bring it on yourself with the attitude you have
Mark11VA: I love you as a friend but you can be very mean and harsh sometimes
Me: i know
Mark11VA: and people get tired of it. YOu say you are not a slut and do not just want to meet people for sex one minute and then next day you hook up with someone
Mark11VA: that is why people think this of you.. I know you and know you are a good person inside but
Me: it's a defense mechanism
Mark11VA: to have sex
Mark11VA: or to be mean
Me: well, there is good inside of everyone..doh!
Me: whats the use if i can't bring it out
Mark11VA: you can
Mark11VA: you have before
Me: and listen mr. WHO, in recent years, have I hooked up with just knowing after a day
Mark11VA: Hmm
Me: I'l tell u who
Me: NOBODY
Mark11VA: lets talk abotu last summer in dc
Me: that was LAST summer
Mark11VA: and really that does not matter
Me: it was a year and a half ago
Me: okay!!
Me: yes it matters
Me: because no matter what you do, or how hard you try, you can't convinve people you're changed
Mark11VA: this is what I am talking about
Mark11VA: the attitude is coming out
Mark11VA: just take a deep breath
Me: cause you are bringing up my past, and we all learn from the past to become the better people who we are today
Mark11VA: yeah this is true
Me: no, its not attitude
Me: it's a matter of principle
Me: and it's exactly THIS mentality that makes people think of me the way they do
Mark11VA: ok
Me: because of the irrevocable past
Mark11VA: well they have not seen you for 3 mths
Mark11VA: so they do not know
Mark11VA: you have to show them
Me: show them that I haven't had sex with anyone in a very long time?
Mark11VA: well and BE NICE no matter what they say
Me: or show them that talking to them does not mean I want to sleep with them?
Mark11VA: yeah
Mark11VA: that too
Me: ok
Me: that helps, a lot
Mark11VA: ok..
Me: and i never had sex with jim
Mark11VA: you did mess around though
Me: so?
Mark11VA: just no intercorse huh
Me: yeah
Mark11VA: that is sex
Me: i knew my boundaries
Mark11VA: sex is not just fucking
Me: no it isn't
Mark11VA: oh ok
Me: yes it is
Me: and we've had this conversation before
Mark11VA: like it matters we were broken up
Me: no, but still, i would never have SEX with a friend's ex
Mark11VA: oh ok
Me: well in all honesty, i hope that you can get over the past so that we can be friends in the future
Me: cause we all have closets
Me: and i don't even remember ppl's pasts
Me: but thats just me, being forgetful
Me either way, i'lll call later, what time u think u're gonna go check mail
Mark11VA: we are friends
Mark11VA: I do not hold anything agaist you
Mark11VA: prob tomorrow
Mark11VA: in the am
Me: okay, well, i'll call u then
Mark11VA: ok
Mark11VA: bye
Me: bye