K's Top Ten Rules of Dating

I guess I must be really bored to write this on a Friday evening:

1. Avoid dating men that are too good-looking. It probably means that they are not good in bed because they never had to be.

2. Stay away from men who have just broken up with someone else. Remember, you don’t want to be known as "THAT guy" or "the rebound guy".

3. Judge his behavior. If he sleeps with you on the first date, he’s a slut. If he doesn’t, he’s got problems. These problems are, but are not limited to, lack of confidence, inability to perform and doubts about personal sexuality.

4. Learn the difference between a fuck buddy and a meaningful relationship. Don’t get caught up anywhere in between.

5. Act like you don’t remember the important dates or places that are a hallmark of your relationship. That way he’ll know that you’re not getting too attached.

6. Refrain from establishing boundaries in your relationship, such as monogamy. Boundaries will only make your partner want to break them and reveal his true salacious self.

7. Make it your business to know what he's doing every minute. However, don’t be stupid enough to inform him about your whereabouts. If he nags you about it, tell him that you need your personal space.

8. Abstain from being the first one to say “I love you”. If you do, your words will come back and bite you in the ass.

9. Express your resentment if he says “I love you” after having sex. At that moment those words only mean that he’s in love with the sex and not with your personality.

10. Dump him before you come to the point where you know he’s going to dump you. That way you can always brag to your common friends about self-respect, independence, personal space and unwillingness to deal with shit.