Hanging by a moment

So, I just got back from working out my shoulders and back at the Aquatic and Fitness Center, the hip and fashionable gym at UVA. It seems that I can never workout without getting a big doze of GAY, therefore, today I was destined to cross paths with Mark Josh. Mark Josh is a second year at the University and all that he shares with me is an embarrassing encounter (for him) from last year. Unexpectedly, the urchin chased me down with his acne-ridden face until he got a chance to ask me THE question. Now, here's my answer, listen very carefully.

IF ANY OF YOU FAGGOTS ASK ME “WHY ARE YOU STILL IN CHARLOTTESVILLE?” EVER AGAIN, I AM GOING TO BASH YOUR HEAD AGAINST THE WALL, THROW YOU DOWN TO THE MAT, SPREAD YOUR LEGS IN THE AIR AND SHOVE A BARBELL DOWN YOUR PRISSY ASSES.

Okay, now I don’t mean to disparage anyone, but bitch please. Why do you have to ask puerile questions just to make small-talk? And if you want to express your solicitude, I’d rather have you see and avoid me than probe the precarious thongs of my life by pestering me with your imprudent, vacuous inquiries.

Moving onto more important things, I finally heard from Alexis. Apparently, he’s playing this game called “silence” with me (ever heard of that one?) but he was generous enough to send me two songs: Mujhey Roko (Ali Noor) and Aadat (Jal). I hadn’t heard these tunes before, since I’ve not been keeping tabs on the Pakistani music scene for a while, but they were GOOD. In fact, really good. Maybe that's because music means so much more when someone adds meaning to it by identifying you with the song. And then both of you hear the same song, with different interpretations, sharing a special connection conjured by the words. So, sitting at the library, I put on my headphones, googled the lyrics, and listened, with voracious attention, to the conjuration of the musicians.

Randomness is probably the single most defining element of my life. So, today, while taking the bus back home, I heard Hanging by a Moment (Lifehouse), one of my favorite tunes of all time. At first, I thought the jimjams caused by the caffeine were making me hear things, but I couldn’t have been mistaken about Jason Wada’s voice, or how the first three lines hit me like a rock. It was the perfect song, at the perfect moment. The perfect moment because Alexi was still on my mind ever since my dramatic and impetuous E-mail. But after hearing his songs (I'm still addled by how a boy who does not speak Urdu can understand Pakistani pop music), I knew I had to respond in an appropriate fashion, but didn't plan on using music as the medium of choice. So, I took the next stop, wafted towards the library, and E-mailed him an acoustic version of the song (the only one that I could find at that time). And it was the perfect song if you've heard the lyrics, which are:

Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started chasing after you
I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you

Forgetting all I'm lacking
Completely incomplete
I'll take your invitation
You take all of me
Now I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and I'm not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you

There's nothing else to lose
There's nothing else to find
There's nothing in the world
That could change my mind
There is nothing else
There is nothing else
There is nothing else

Alexi, if you read this, I know I haven’t been fair to you. But, I’ve already tried to justify my feverish actions; mea culpa. And, like I read somewhere, Love/Friendship means never having to say you're sorry. Hopefully, we’ll get past through this and continue to communicate in some way, shape or form.